So, here I am again. I will come up with a PODCAST very soon. So, if you want to learn how to pronounce Italian words...THIS IS THE PLACE TO BE! Kidding!
I want to show you one of my favorite comedians. This is a guy from the north, who pretends to be a southerner who fakes a northern accent.... he SPEAKS an "IMPOSSIBLE LANGUAGE"... DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME!! A few things about the clip. The HERO is in charge of the AC Milan fans. Soccer fans are called "ULTRAS". When the "hero" gets into the room people shout, "Milan Milan Milan, Milan Milan"...The HERO says, "Mi sentite in fondo?? A A A Mammta" (Can you hear me from the back rows? Y Y...Your mom). Saying "Your mom" is VERY OFFENSIVE in Italian.
Later on he says, "La parola d'ordine tanto per cambiare e' sempre la stessa: VIULEEEENZ" (Violenza-Violence). The key word, for the sake of variety is always the same: VIOOOOLEEENCE!!
The hilarious part is whwn people cheer him, he tells them to stop...they freeze, he raises his arms...people go wild again...SO SILLY and HILARIOUS...ENJOY:

I've just realized that I have TONS of songs on my iPod....and only five of them are in Italian....
I think you should listen to Magnolia (please, forget about Tom Cruise) by Negrita.... I like this one..

These are the lyrics (I am going to translate part of them, you will have to tell me WHAT THE SONG IS ABOUT, HEHE):

Lentamente (slowly) scivola
La tua mano (hand) su di te (you)
Quel tanto (that bit) che basta per trasformare
Ogni carezza in un gemito
Ti guardo accaldata contorcerti (twisting)
Tra le lenzuola umide (between wet sheets)
Golosa ed implacabile
Forza fammi male finchè vuoi…
Lo sai…

PIOGGIA IO SARÒ (I WILL BE RAIN) … PER TOGLIERTI LA SETE (TO TAKE AWAY YOUR THIRST)…
E SOLE SALIRÒ (I WILL RISE LIKE THE SUN) … PER ASCIUGARTI BENE…
VENTO (WIND) ARRIVERÒ … PER POTERTI ACCAREZZARE (TO CARESS YOU)…
MA SE VUOI (BUT IF YOU WANT IT)… SE TU VUOI (IF YOU WANT IT)…
TRA FANGO (MUD) E NEVE (SNOW), FANGO E NEVE IMPAZZIRÒ (I WILL GO CRAZY)!

Ti ammiro (I admire you) per come ti approcci
A questi anni mutevoli
Mi piace (I like) quel tuo senso pratico (your common sense)
La tua forza (strenght) e l’ironia
I cieli neri (black skies) intorno a noi (around us)
Sono soltanto nuvole (clouds)
Che dolcemente soffi via
E niente può far male più, lo sai…
Lo sai (you know)…

PIOGGIA IO SARÒ … PER TOGLIERTI LA SETE…
E SOLE SALIRÒ … PER ASCIUGARTI BENE…
VENTO ARRIVERÒ … PER POTERTI ACCAREZZARE…
MA SE VUOI… SE TU VUOI…
TRA FANGO E NEVE, FANGO E NEVE IMPAZZIRÒ!
Impazzirò!….

FINCHE’ PIOGGIA DIVERRÒ … PER TOGLIERTI LA SETE…
E SOLE IO SARÒ … PER ASCIUGARTI BENE…
VENTO ARRIVERÒ … PER POTERTI ACCAREZZARE…
MA SE VUOI… SE TU VUOI…
TRA FANGO E NEVE, FANGO E NEVE IMPAZZIRÒ!…
IMPAZZIRÒ! E PIOGGIA IO SARÒ
PER TOGLIERTI LA SETE, PER ASCIUGARTI BENE, PER POTERTI ACCAREZZARE
MA SE VUOI , SE TU VUOI….
FINO ALLA FINE, FINO ALLA FINE DEL MONDO…

Vieni con me, vieni con me, vieni con me
Ad insegnarmi a camminare,ad insegnarmi a respirare…
Con le mani, con le mani,con le mani
con le tue mani potrei morire,sulle tue mani potrei…

I like this song....it's soooo sensual....
WHAT IS THE SONG ABOUT?? This is a contest, the winner will get a free trip to Italy....kidding...hehe....maybe I am not kidding....
In the meantime, enjoy the song:

Ciao ragazzi, I am back with another comedy clip. This one is from Amici Miei, the funniest movie ever. The movie is about a group of old friends (upper class people) who hang out and play pranks on everybody. This clip is about a trip to the North Pole (WARNING: it's slightly gross). It's so funny, though....divinely gross! Anyhow...I am going to type part of the script, as usual....
The clip starts with Sassaroli (a physician), who sings a song about...how beautiful women are....WOW, I can be so poetic...
When he gets Russian Salad for lunch, he says, "C'e' l'insalata Russa! Chi vuole l'insalata Russa?" (Here's Russian salad! Who wants Russian salad?" The guy sitting in the back says, "Io, Io" (I want it)....
People say, "Prendi anche la mia" (have mine too)... "E' buona ma e' un po' freddina" (it's good but it's too cold).
Then, you'll get to see the guy in the back dumping Russian salad in the vomit bag....
Suddenly, the guy sitting in the back says, "Sto male....sto male, sto male....Dio, come mi sento male" (I am sick, I am sick...oh God, I feel so sick).
The physician says, "Devi vomitare" (you have to vomit)..."Dai, vomita....liberati dell'insalataccia" (C'mon, vomit....get rid of that bad salad).
Enjoy the rest....the guy pretends to eat his own vomit...and...hehehe....I love it when they say, "Hostess, c'e' una hostess stesa" (Hostess, there's a hostess lying down)...and when they say..."E' migliorata; e' piu' caldina" (It's better now, it's much WARMER)....divinely gross....I hope you enjoyed this "CLASS"...

I've decided to revive this blog. Let's resume this adventure with an exotic language. Today I am going to show you a clip from a famous comedy movie, Fantozzi. This guy is an accountant (RAGIONIERE), who is abused by his bosses at work. He wooes the same woman for 14 years and when they finally go out  on a date...this is the result... I wrote part of of the script for you:
When the thugs ram his car and reach for his ear, the accountant's date says in a LOUD and CLEAR voice, "SIETE TRE STRONZI" (You are three assh*les); When the bad guys pull them over, they say: "SCENDI MERDONE" (Get off, jerk)..."CHI E' LO STRONZO?" (Who's the assh*le?); Fantozzi says, "IO, IO" (I am, I am)... they start beating him up with hilarious moves, and Fantozzi pretends he is in control; he says, "RIPETA, SE HA IL CORAGGIO" (Say that again, if you have the guts)....that's when they toss him over the car. At a certain point he starts blaming his date, he calls her names....and the bad guys say: "FAI SCHIFO....TRADIRE UNA DONNA"... (You're disgusting....betraying a woman)....and they finally throw him into the car...
That's typical Italian comedy....enjoy:

Hello! I am back for good this time! I think we should "recap" on the previous "lessons" and move on. The World Cup is kicking off in two days...so, I guess I'll have to talk about it. Take a look at this:

The first guy says: "I bought a Plasma TV with TiVo to watch the World Cup". The short guy says: "I bought a cell phone with Moggi in it. I already know who is going to win". Who's Moggi? The whole country is talking about this guy. He's a football manager who fixed all the games played in Italy. He used to bribe and black mail refrees. Unfortunately for him, the police recorded all of his phone calls. Moggi was nicknamed "Mafioso", The Godfather"...by the way, here's a picture of him:

He's also called MANEGGIONE... a "derogatory version" of the word "manipulator".

Let's see a few KEY WORDS:

SWINDLE = TRUFFA
TO CHEAT = IMBROGLIARE
TO BRIBE = CORROMPERE
TO STEAL = RUBARE
TO BLACK MAIL = MINACCIARE
WORLD CUP = MONDIALI
SOCCER = CALCIO

Well, during the World Cup, Italians throw unbelievable parties to follow the games. Whatching the games is "just an excuse" in most cases...food, drinks and songs are more important. I'll try to let you LIVE this experience...
Don't forget to do your homework...